island bound

this would be my last posting from the main land for this month. tonight the couch will take us up north before we embark across the sea to the isle. have a mixed feeling towards this whole affair, having to leave le ol' lady alone is hard enough, having to mix with those i dont really like is another thing. but everything have a price, for the love of the game. heard rumours that they are talking behind our back about the selection system done by the tg. they are gonna make it more open for the next game, and most probably i wont make the cut, unless they throw up the veteran category. so better enjoy this last opportunity while i still can. also some are murmuring among themselve questioning my inclusion into the squad. even the penguin asked me about it, not to say that he is not satisfied, but its a way of presenting the silent protest. all said and done, i have a feeling this would be my final representation for the uni, which i get from the back door, and i better cherish it starting tonight when we travel island bound.

mr. m is not happy with the decision to order the lot from one supplier. he is trying to divert the lot, i hope it wont make the whole affair gone haywire. mr. f is running the secretariat thing way too fast its hard for me to catch up. one thing he has to do urgently is to get the written approval from N before proceeding with the three projects. may fifth will be a hols for me, applied for it fair and square. its not good to sleep on the job, so i take a leave with dignity. theres a time for everything all the time.

the x files

the exam was preety easy on the first day, i think im gonna get flying colours for my efforts. but the second day was rather tough, and the confidence level is only 65 %. hope everything will turn out to be just fine and i can get moving on with my life.
the calls from the ghost keep on coming, and its getting me worried a bit. well sometimes too much of a good thing is bad for you, and we might get careless if its done too casually. those calls can change the way we see things in life, how it came to be like it is today, and the pain we both have to endure.

being secluded within these four walls is getting to my nerve. lucky today is day five of the week, and next week there will only be one day for the four walls to see my face. not sure what's install for me in the island, but its for me to find out for the sweet sake of life experience.

twist of fate

its very suprising to hear the boss mention yours truly to be the one in charge of the spending spree schedulled in june. i mean he has other trusted generals to handle this spicy affair but then he chooses this poor chap who hardly meet him even once a week to do the dirty job. like what ringo used to say, theres more to this than meets the eyes. i was left thinking what's the catch.

the exam is due tomorrow and the day after. the confidence level is very low and the preparations are not as good as the other two, if you can cay that the past twos are good. taking the same exam once too many is not good for the poor chap.

the mrs is going away for yet another week, and i will be left guarding the poor kids in one of the most crucial week of late. with the exam looming, the night trainings schedulled and the preparations for the island trip, its gonna be a challenging week for this poor chap. its a test of preserverance with a twist of fate.

another 171

in a day marked with lovey dovel calls with the ghost, a record was stylishly repeated last night when yours truly equals the 171 marks. the way the game is played it wont be long before the steroid enhanced 190 marks can be eclipsed. its hard to point out the secret behind the feat, but one thing for sure is the sheer energy one gets from heavy lunch and early dinner. the talks with the ghost has left yours truly with a momentary lapse of reason. lucky the call for the game was made last night, if not it will be a night of play acting, not wanting anyone to sense my betrayal.

knife

when the ghost of your past reappears, it cuts deep and leaves a lasting scar. you can fool everyone that it doesnt get a hold in your life anymore, but you cant fool yourself. you cant deny it.

lost in translation

yet another day of not knowing what to look forward to except a call from a few lost souls wanting to have a company for a cuppa. yet another day of not knowing what to expect from the big boss if any new communicado gets into his room that requires my attention. yet another day of not assured if its gonna be as good as yesterday. its not healthy to live in such denial, make believe that everything is fine. i'm lost without translation.

alone again, naturally

true as was expected, its better for them to move to the new office. the boss aint having any hard feelings towards me, the sweet mouth is naturally comfortable wherever he may be, and the young lady is not having a bad time after all. the problem now is yours truly being unmotivated, staying behing closed door, locked in his own world, the productivity reduced slightly but surely. being a stranger in his own turf, that's bad.

stupid bowler

one day a stupid bowler popped up from nowhere to strut his stuff at the stupid alley. once there the stupid bowler noticed that none of his stupid so called friends are present. so the stupid bowler used his stupid communicator to call the stupid head bowler asking him where are all the other stupid bowlers? the stupid head bowler told him that he just came back from the stupid land and is still feeling damned jet legged. he asked the stupid bowler to play all by himself quoting his stupid account. well the stupid bowler is not that stupid after all, he aint going to play all by himself like stupid. so he left the stupid alley with disgust, feeling like stupid. never again, he said to himself, never again am i going to be treated like stupid.

sleepless in seattle

years ago yours truly used to adore meg ryan. her characters as a lovey dovey innocent girl has melted us in many ways. of course some of those characters are made stronger by the presence of tom hanks as the leading actor. her roles in joe versus the volcano completes the idiot joe character of mr hanks. other films worth noted are when harry met sally (also with mr hanks) and french kiss. in a way ms ryan is in her elements during that period. lately nothing much is heard of her. maybe age has mellowed her down, and she cant keep that lovey dovey face forever suitable for the young ones. unlike mr hanks who ventured into elderly statesman status by doing other great films like forest gump and philly. but surely one of these days lets hope a great script might pop up tailored for meg ryan to satisfy her old and grey fans like yours truly. like what mr rodney stewart used to croone, tearly eyed meggie rules.

the lost weekend with malia ahda

its the time of the day when you feel like not doing anything. the plan to install york aircond is still not activated. the affin thing is not due till tomorrow. the eagle calling plan has to wait until the kids get back from school. the call with capital c has to wait until tomorrow. what is it that yours truly have to do now?
allow me to write about a friend whom i knew for the last 4 years. her name is malia ahda. she's a young lady, married and her place in the office is next to the tiger's cage. when i first knew her 4 years ago i thought she is still single, hehe. at this moment in time, she is the only person i know who reads my blog, apart from maybe my sifu ainul.

the sinking feeling

something is not right somewhere, i should have hang the laundry under the shade rather than right out in the open and half expecting it wont rain cats and dogs. the poor lady must be cursing out loud moving them away upon hearing the raindrops on the rooftiles. may god bless her.

something is not right somewhere, i should not take the money from the old lady to buy her things, i should have used my own for i have lots of it in my wallet praise the lord. but the way she treated me is like i'm still her little boy child.

something is not right somewhere, when you start avoiding the sweet of your heart, try not looking straight into her eyes, not talking directly. no one seems to notice, she hides it well, no one expects me to be the one who gives her sleepless nights. the problem with yours truly is he can easily be swayed by the sinking feeling. if ever the event up on the clouds repeats itself i think both he and his sweetheart will be in lots of trouble.

a phone call is a normal thing until it becomes clear that you long to give one. same goes with the short messaging. long ago it happens with the two Ms. then its with the teachery person and of course after that comes the ghosts, the two Ns. now the third N is holding her ground but lucky for me she is playing it safe. but yours truly is too old to get too deep into the games. maybe he better slowly move away and keep the sweet memories to himself rather than hurting others. you sometimes got carried away by the flowing mist. some call it a crush, but i think its an infactuation, it can slowly fade away, but you seldom water it before it dies, so it lives on as a sweet deceipt. you cant live your life blaming fate for all that happens. sometimes you yourself are the one to be blamed. what if the first ghost gets me, either we elope against the parents wishes or not is inmaterial, let say we succeeded, will that put the end of the temptation to explore the sweet deceipt? will there be war if the betrayal is exposed? then if hell break loose, where will i turn to now that i have burned my bridges? god has reasons for everything that happens, and maybe this sinking feeling has its own little secret hidden to be explored.

this weekend is gonna be a long sweet one. with nothing planned as yet, i think i can make up the lost time with the kids and wife. its hard taking care of two homes, both of most importance to our life. i'm afraid i'm not doing a good job with both homes, i lack attention to them both. its not my mistake, its my weakness...

one seven one

yup. you read it right, the new official record is 171. but it wont stay long, i'll break it this wednesday.

the lovey dovey feeling from up the clouds still lingers with us all day yesterday. lucky for us today we are back working and the hectic day schedulle strays us from thinking about the clouds. been a long time since i had that sinking feeling. its dangerous.

a walk in the cloud

here i am feeling lovey dovey up in the cloud...