the sinking feeling

something is not right somewhere, i should have hang the laundry under the shade rather than right out in the open and half expecting it wont rain cats and dogs. the poor lady must be cursing out loud moving them away upon hearing the raindrops on the rooftiles. may god bless her.

something is not right somewhere, i should not take the money from the old lady to buy her things, i should have used my own for i have lots of it in my wallet praise the lord. but the way she treated me is like i'm still her little boy child.

something is not right somewhere, when you start avoiding the sweet of your heart, try not looking straight into her eyes, not talking directly. no one seems to notice, she hides it well, no one expects me to be the one who gives her sleepless nights. the problem with yours truly is he can easily be swayed by the sinking feeling. if ever the event up on the clouds repeats itself i think both he and his sweetheart will be in lots of trouble.

a phone call is a normal thing until it becomes clear that you long to give one. same goes with the short messaging. long ago it happens with the two Ms. then its with the teachery person and of course after that comes the ghosts, the two Ns. now the third N is holding her ground but lucky for me she is playing it safe. but yours truly is too old to get too deep into the games. maybe he better slowly move away and keep the sweet memories to himself rather than hurting others. you sometimes got carried away by the flowing mist. some call it a crush, but i think its an infactuation, it can slowly fade away, but you seldom water it before it dies, so it lives on as a sweet deceipt. you cant live your life blaming fate for all that happens. sometimes you yourself are the one to be blamed. what if the first ghost gets me, either we elope against the parents wishes or not is inmaterial, let say we succeeded, will that put the end of the temptation to explore the sweet deceipt? will there be war if the betrayal is exposed? then if hell break loose, where will i turn to now that i have burned my bridges? god has reasons for everything that happens, and maybe this sinking feeling has its own little secret hidden to be explored.

this weekend is gonna be a long sweet one. with nothing planned as yet, i think i can make up the lost time with the kids and wife. its hard taking care of two homes, both of most importance to our life. i'm afraid i'm not doing a good job with both homes, i lack attention to them both. its not my mistake, its my weakness...